


Blind Date Enigma

by remymorton



Series: Enigma [1]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arkham is a restaurant, Blind Date, Fanart, Isabella and Kristen are twins, Lee is the ex wife, M/M, Tags Are Hard, They are Ed's cousins, Valentine's Day, ed is a teacher, no bunnies were injured, riddle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24720826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remymorton/pseuds/remymorton
Summary: Mr.Cobblepot cleared his throat and gave him a suspicious look. "What makes you think I'm the one you have a date tonight, Mr.Nygma?""Because you're exactly my type ...OrA blind date on Valentine’s Day can only turn out great.We'll see.
Relationships: Edward Nygma & Leslie Thompkins, Isabella & Edward Nygma, Jim Gordon/Leslie Thompkins, Kristen Kringle & Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot & Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot & Martin, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Series: Enigma [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1966780
Comments: 20
Kudos: 84





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I love Nygmobblepot.  
> I only watched their scenes, almost nothing else from the series.
> 
> Okay, so it takes place in a completely alternative universe where Ed is a teacher and Isabella and Kristen are his cousins. (I realized that I could handle Isabella so much better that way.)  
> Oh and Ed looks like he looked at the beginning of the series. Not that he didn’t look good all the way through, but for the first two seasons he had a geeky look that was cute.
> 
> And the riddle is not mine.

  
"Ed!"

"No."

"But Ed!"

"No."

"You don't even know what I want to tell you."

"It doesn't matter. The answer is still a no."

"How can you say that?"

"Experience." Ed said, looking down suspiciously at the other, then he continued on his way down the hall. 

"So far, no matter how many times I've agreed to something you came up with, it ended in the worst ending."

Isabella gave him an offended look that was completely feigned. 

"Come on. This is not true."

"When you really wanted a distasteful rabbit leg necklace ..."

"That was the fashion back then."

"... and you wanted me to do one for you ..."

"Because your dexterity is so good."

"... you gave me the kitchen knife and your pet, Mr.Cotton Candy, who was a white rabbit, with a text: don't be very bloody because it's difficult to wash the blood out of the rabbit hair."

She shrugged. "Say one more thing."

Edward sighed.

"Christmas ..."

"You can't say it wasn't memorable." reminded Isabella, who almost had to run down the hall to keep up with Ed.

"It was really everything, just not memorable. Your home-made egg liqueur knocked everyone out and ever since then there have only been shreds from that day." Ed said and hugged more tightly the notes he needed for the next lesson. There were still five minutes left until the bell rang to get into the classroom and give a lecture to a bunch of bored, pimpled, hormone-overloaded students who wouldn’t have grasped the meaning of the curriculum even if he had explained it on their level. At the level of an empty flowerpot.

Edward has been teaching for five years at an elite school in the city of Gotham, where rich snobs enrolled their pampered pups. 

"I still don't know how the Christmas tree caught fire."

"I think we had a good time." she muttered. "You hugged everyone all night."

"It was that Christmas when you lived with us, because you were at a low point emotionally and financially?" she asked with a barely disguised intention of what she wanted to punch.

"Yes." Ed growled and slowed down.

"When your marriage was just ruined and you didn't want to stay in the house where the memories haunted you?"

Ed stopped and turned to face his cousin. 

"Yes, and thank you for mentioning it." he replied, gritting his teeth, and the memories of four years ago flashed. The day he returned home from a hard day’s work and on the kitchen table not the dinner was, but his wife and an unknown man who were just fucking on the table. But the bright side of this was when they saw Ed, they were so scared that they fell off the table. 

Then he didn't remember much, for example, he couldn't tell how he got to the other part of town, more precisely to the door of Isabella and Kristen's home. Isabella immediately called him in and, after she took it out of him what happened, she generously allowed him to stay with them for as long as he wanted. He never wanted to go back to that house again. After the divorce and then the sale of the house, and with some luck, Ed found himself an apartment that suited him perfectly. While Isabella was there next to him and supported him. 

Kristen, too, tried to help him in her own way. 

They didn't leave him alone.

Ed was grateful for that. He always will be. Apparently that was the reason he ended up saying yes to every silly idea wich Isabella comes up with.

"What did you come up with this time?" he finally asked.

Isabella smiled and now the emotion on her face was real.

"What day is tomorrow?

Ed looked at her questioningly. 

"Friday."

"No."

"It is ..."

"I didn't mean that." the girl cut into his words. "Look around."

He did and his throat tightened. He saw the signs all week, but did not deal with them, as he was not subject to it at all. 

A lot of red hearts and tacky decorations that adorned the school, were nauseating and eye-damaging.

"Valentine's Day." he sighed.

Isabella's smile became more cunning. "Exactly. I knew you would realize. After all, you're the brain in the family."

Ed shook his head. "Is that what you call flattery?"

"But Ed, not everyone can be as smart as you ..."

“Finish it, I know you want something, you don’t need this play.” the man said, letting Isabella put her arm around him. "Say it quickly, because the bell is about to ring."

"I'll get to the point right away. We've arranged a blind date for you for tomorrow. Valentine's Day. It's time to start meeting someone. You can't let that heartless person continue to affect on you."

It took Ed at least a minute to gather his thoughts. Meanwhile, he found that if a man’s cousin was a librarian at the same school, it was associated with a lot of headaches.

"What did you mean _"We've arranged a blind date"_?"

"Kristen and I."

"My God."

"It'll be fine. On that amazingly expensive place where you have to book a table weeks in advance. In the Arkham."

"Then how did you succeed?" Ed asked, then added quickly. "It's not like I agreed to anything."

"Kristen managed to get a second job there one month ago and a little protection hasn't hurt anyone yet."

"Look Isabella, I don't think much good would come from spending the evening with a stranger ..."

"Ed..."

"... with embarrassing tension. While pretending to be interested in each other."

"Then at least you're eating a good one. You knew they'd charge $ 200 for a plain steak there, I won't even mention the lobster." Isabella looked up at him with huge eyes and squeezed his arm with a force that no one would have looked out of such a tiny woman.

Ed rolled his eyes and accepted that he would not be able to pull himself out of it. 

"Fine."

Then the bell rang.

  


Ed wasn't nervous, not even a little. He was a lot of things, like hardworking, smart, funny - in his own way - a bit egocentric and selfish, but not a nervous type. 

Although ...

While standing there in front of one of the most expensive restaurants in town, plus on Valentine’s Day, he might felt a little nervous. After dropping his coat in the coat-check room and then receiving a call button, he went to the lobby, where dozens of people were waiting. 

He sat down on one of the puffs and listened to the couple next to him arguing that they had been waiting more than thirty minutes for their table to be ready. They were not the only ones. Arkham seemed crowded tonight. Thanks for the wicked heart day.

Ed reached up for his glasses to adjust, but almost poked his own eyes. He forgot that he was wearing contact lenses. It was Isabella's idea, who appeared at his place unexpectedly. When she saw what kind of clothes Ed had chosen for the date, she voted it down and chose for him one that, according to the girl, he looked lovely as if to be seduced immediately. Ed didn't exactly want to hear things like that from his cousin.

Then his glasses followed. What was replaced with contact lenses - it took half an hour and a lot of cursing. In the meantime, he tried to find out as much as possible about the person with whom he would eat overpriced food. Isabella barely revealed anything about the person.

"I didn't ask a life story, just a name." he said and managed to put in the second lens as well, while she lay in the bath tub and read the back side of the shampoo bottle.

"No."

"Age?"

"No.

"Job?"

"No."

"Isabella!"

"All right, all right." she set the bottle aside. "The man is kind and smart. He's a little older than you. He's exactly your type."

Ed gave her a surprised look.

"What makes you think I'm gay?" he asked, then checked in the bathroom mirror to see if the lenses were in place.

Isabella raised an eyebrow. "You can be funnier than that, Ed." she climbed out of the tub and walked over to Ed to straighten his tie.

" _She's right. You better get yourself together or you will scare the unfortunate person, who's willing to go on a date with you."_ said his reflection to him. " _Anyway, you're bisexual, sweetie."_

Ed sighed and looked at the other people who were still impatient and waiting for their call button to signal. He looked down at his own, with the number sixteen, surrounded by a blooming yellow light. The blue color indicates when the table is ready.

Ed suspected he would wait a long time, given the lot of people around him. Yet, a luxury restaurant like Arkham could have been better prepared for such a busy day. Instead, he could wait and watch the fountain in the lobby, surrounded by ornate, carved columns - also in the luxury category - and rainbow fishes floating in it. Meanwhile, more people arrived.

And one of them was just Ed's ex-wife. 

Leslie. 

In a dark blue, deeply cleaved dress, with long shiny hair. A tiny bag in one hand, which fit perfectly with her dress.

Edward instantly froze. After their divorce, he had not seen Lee. Years have passed since then. He didn’t even want to think about the woman who was his first love in the school, later his wife, and now she’s just an unpleasant memory. 

Luckily, she didn't seem to notice him. He was very happy about that, and also that he managed to get himself to step unnoticed to one of the columns and stand behind, so Lee still didn't know he was present.

He would have preferred to disappear, but the woman was right near the entrance. He didn't have a chance to go out unnoticed. 

"Ed?"

Kristen was standing behind him. Ed quickly yanked her beside him.

"What ...?"

"Shhh!" 

Ed peered carefully out of his hiding place, but Lee was still there.

"What's wrong? What are you looking at?" she asked and she peered too. "Oh, the ex."

"Yeah, she is. Is there any chance of me disappearing without her noticing?" 

"Grow up, Edward." 

Of the twins, Isabella had always been the more emotional, the dreamer, who walked over the clouds. Kristen was more stuck to the ground, realistic-minded, who did not hide her opinion, even if it was raw.

It wasn't a bad trait, but Ed didn't need it now. Rather an escape route.

"Thanks Kristen, but if your wife is fucking in the kitchen with an unknown guy, you'll know that stuff like this will remain a thorn for years."

"Do you still love her?" 

Ed snorted at this.

"No. It bothers me that she didn't stand in front of me and told me our marriage was over." he explained and watched as Lee turned when a man entered at the main entrance, then walked over to the woman and kissed her.

"It's been four years and I think she let you know pretty well that accident was over." 

Ed gave her a prickly look, Kristen never concealed that she thought he was married too early. She thought he could have waited at the age of twenty-one. And she may have been right, because his marriage with Lee ended two years later.

"You're so sweet as a barrel of tar." then he turned back and saw the man's face clearly. 

He was the same man, who he had seen that particular day. 

This time dressed. Thank God.

Kristen poked him at his side. "Hey, breathe. Ed, look at me. Breathe." she turned him over to herself. "What's wrong? What did you see?"

"The bastard. With whom Lee cheated on me. They seem to have been together ever since." Ed said, not revealing that he had learned his name shortly after the incident. James Gordon.

 _"It didn't cause Jimbo a sleepless night to take your wife."_ he didn't want to hear his inner voice right now. _"Look how happy they are, he's certainly proud of himself for ruining a marriage."_

"Ed? Look at me. Calm down, nothing wrong." Kristen tried to reassure him, but Ed didn't hear anything from her. Blood drummed loudly in his ears.

"Plus, they're celebrating Valentine's Day, obviously the part of how much they're in love. However ... however ... St.Valentine was also the patron saint of the mentally ill and people with epilepsy. This part is of course not very romantic for this throat-choking holiday." Ed blurted and he knew he was panicking.

"And people don’t just feel love on this one day, which, has been distorted with chocolate, paper hearts and flowers. The whole feast is traversed by despair ..." while he waved with his arms to his words, the call button flew out of his hand and splashed straight into the fountain.

They both watched in silence as the little tool sank and then appeared on the surface of the water and floated there. Some fish poked it with their noses.

Kristen walked over quickly and snatched it from the water, then wiped it dry. 

"I'm sorry." Ed muttered, ashamed to behave that way. "I ... I don't know ... I'm sorry."

Kristen looked at him silently and then shook her head. "No, you're right. This holiday is completely hypocritical. In fact, it's not the day of lovers, it's the day of sweets and flower vendors. That's when they pick themselves up well with money. How festive. How nice."

Ed knew what Kristen is doing, trying to distract him. Thereby, reassuring him.

It worked. 

After a few deep breaths, he was able to concentrate again.

She held out the call button to him, but before he could take it, the yellow light turned blue. 

"Oh, your table seems ready." she said and looked out from behind the column. "They are not there anymore, if you don't want this blind date, you can go now." 

Ed silently considered the situation and finally decided. "No. I mean, I'll stay. Maybe ... it won't be that bad."

She smiled at him and then grabbed his arm and, bypassing the people, they went to the booking diary where there was an irate young man. 

"Hey, Elliot," Kristen greeted him and then handed him the call button. "What's up?"

"What's up? What's up? So far, a dozen people have tried to bribe me to get in sooner, and there have been those who have tried to threaten me because most people here don't even have a reservation. Do they think they'll get a table at the last minute? Today's tonight? Ha!" the boy sighed and looked at the call button display, then the booking diary. Then he looked up at Edward in surprise. Then the call button again.

"Is something wrong?" asked Kristen.

"No, it's okay." Elliot said quickly, then he turned to Ed and continued cautiously. "The other participant has already arrived, allow me to accompany you to your table immediately Mr. ..."

"Nygma." 

"Of course, sir." Elliot quickly put the call button down. "Please, follow me."

Ed followed him but he looked back once more at Kristen, who gestured reassuringly to him. Then they disappeared from her sight.

Maybe, for a moment, she thought Elliott's behavior was odd. But in the end, she didn't care. She still had a lot to do. Ed will be fine on the first floor at table six.

Strange, the girl knew that the seats on that floor were reserved for the terribly rich people. For famous and influential people. Such as: senators, celebrities, tycoons, heirs and stars and many more. Those who had so much money they could have even used it as a cigarette lighter.

How did Isabella know such people? Moreover, she even managed to organize a blind date with such a person.

Kristen thought about it for a moment, then shrugged.

Never mind.

Yet, if she had looked at the call button again, she would have seen that the numbers had changed again and again after a while. Table number 16, which Ed saw, changed to 1.6 after a visit in the fountain. First floor sixth table. Then it became 16 again. Ground floor, sixteenth table.

The call button did not appear to be waterproof.

  


_"Exactly your type."_

Isabella's words echoed in Ed's head as Elliot led him up to the first floor. Where he was welcomed by a much more orderly and quiet environment than on the lower level.

_"Exactly your type."_

She seemed to be aware of Ed's type. At least, one of them knew. 

_"If he know the difference between a fork and a spoon, he'll start with a good point."_

Ed rolled his eyes. 

"Shut up." he hissed back to the voice, which usually handed out his opinion unasked. "It's just a blind date. Nothing more."

_"Sure. Anyway, Izzy would definitely remind you for the rest of your life if, thanks to her, you find the true One. Just imagine that."_

Ed shuddered at the thought.

"I hope he is a stump and uneducated blockhead." he sighed. "Who eats with bare hand and does not even know what the napkin is."

"What, sir?" asked Elliot, who obviously had no idea that Ed was having a private conversation with himself. 

Ed shook his head. "Um, ... nothing, I'm just a little excited."

"No wonder, sir." Elliot added and before Ed could ask for this strange answer, Elliot led him into a huge room with fewer tables, which were placed at a sufficient distance from each other. The decoration was also more elegant and restrained. Much tastier. There was soft music.

Ed looked at all the tables where, to his surprise, there were people he had only seen on TV or in the front pages of newspapers so far. Famous people. Famous and rich people.

Then, at one of the tables — which was near the huge glass wall, so the sight was five-star — he spotted another famous and rich person. 

Oswald Cobblepot.

Whose name was intertwined with success. Given that, he had come from Central-Europe for just over a year, he was already in the top circles. He had an excellent sense of business and real estate affairs. Everything he touched turned to gold. Furthermore, he was not the last in a reputation for generosity, either. Donations from Cobblepot seriously boosted the city. No wonder the media tried to follow his every move.

Even that school received Cobblepot donation, where Ed teaches. It’s not like the institution really needed it, given how much tuition is per year. But a short time afterwards, a bronze statue was placed in the school park, depicting an umbrella, which was Cobblepot’s trademark. Given that he almost always carried it with him, in part as help, because the man was limping slightly. But even that didn’t take it away of his radiance, which reffered a powerful and invincible man. Besides, according to Edward, the umbrella only made him even more mysterious. And more attractive.

Yes, Edward had glasses, but he was not blind. He admitted, there was something in the man that attracted him. He only managed to see him in person once when Mr.Cobblepot visited the school because of the donation. Ed could only see the other for a short moment, after the army of reporters finally went away. But that was enough to pique his interest.

Maybe the way he wore his well-tailored, expensive suit like an armor. Or his behavior, which was restrained and polite but not defenseless at all. Or that ...

"Here, Mr.Nygma." Elliot's voice dragged him back to the present and his surprise only intensified as it became clear to him which table he was headed for.

Exactly to Oswald Cobblepot's table. 

Who was his blind date. 

On Valentine's day. 

What the ...

  
After Ed sat down, a pair of scanning blue eyes nailed at him. Or was it more green? Play of the lights.

Even the color of his eyes was special.

_"Say something."_

Not a sound came out of Ed's throat.

_"Say something! Anything."_

The inner voice became more and more urgent.

_"Anything! Just talk before he thinks you're an idiot. Come on, Eddie, other times you won't even shut up ..."_

Mr. Cobblepot opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything, Ed finally found his voice.

"What does man love more than life, hate more than death or mortal strife; that which contented men desire; the poor have, the rich require; the miser spends, the spendthrift saves, and all men carry to their graves?" 

In return, he received a questioning look from him and a raised eyebrow.

_"Maybe it would have been better not to speak."_ the inner voice sighed.

"Nothing. The answer is nothing." Ed gave the answer quickly.

"Was that a riddle?" Mr. Cobblepot asked and his voice sounded incredulous, he extinguished his burning cigarette in the ashtray. Which was then quickly taken away from the table by one of the waiters. 

"Yes, do you like them?" he stretched out his right arm over the table, almost hit the table decoration.

When it became apparent to him that Mr. Cobblepot had no intention of shaking hands with him, Ed withdrew his arm.

"Who are you?"

_"Maybe it wouldn't hurt to introduce yourself first."_

"Oh!" Edward scolded himself for his rude behavior. "I'm Edward. Nygma. And I know who you are ..."

"Really?" Mr. Cobblepot suddenly raised one hand and seemed to want to snap with his fingers.

"... my date, tonight. More specifically my blind date. And I am your date. Vica versa." Ed finished and saw the other's eyes widen at his statement. And with his hand he had made a small gesture, but Ed wasn't sure.

Isabella didn't seem to have piled him up with too much information either. Ed couldn't decide if he was happy or not. But maybe it’s better that they both judge the other based on their own impressions.

Mr.Cobblepot cleared his throat and gave him a suspicious look. "What makes you think I'm the one you have a date tonight, Mr.Nygma?"

"Because you're exactly my type ... Ehm ... that's what Isabella said when I asked her to say something about you ... in fact, not about you, because then I didn't know it was you ..." Ed knew he started talking quickly again. "By that, I didn’t imply that you’re not handsome to be my type, because you are very attractive ... but Isabella was wrong quite a few times, and ... and ... and I'd rather shut up."

Ed turned his head to the other direction instead, feeling like a balloon from which the air was gradually released. Or simply as a wacko. Some of his colleagues considered him that anyway, what mattered one more person. 

Suddenly he heard the sound of a muffled laugh, he looked at the man in surprise, who a moment later reached out to him.

Ed automatically grabbed his hand. His touch was firm, but there was some tenderness in.

"I'm very happy to meet you, Edward. I'm Oswald Cobblepot." his voice was almost like the honey. "I'm glad we're having dinner together."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a long one shot and I thought, I could put it in two parts but ... no. I took it into three chapters so it's easier.

It was all so surreal to him.

Because, he never thought that he would attending a blind date with such a person, who was so high on the ranks, that Ed would have broken his neck by looking up at him.

And still.

It had been almost half an hour since their introduction and Ed would have dared to risk that it was all going well. Even if he had chosen the food from the menu uncertainly - nothing was listed in English and he really hoped he didn’t manage to choose something like fried eel pie with cheese or something that was still alive and moving. 

Mr.Cobble ... or Oswald — the man asked him to call him that — was just sipping a rare wine. Ed politely refused when the man offered him because he came by car. 

They talked. Oswald’s slight accent fascinated him, and Ed shared a little about himself and the twins — who were his family. In fact, he managed to make Oswald laugh when he told him the story of the rabbit necklace.

"Luckily, Isabella didn't realize she was wearing a plush toy rabbit's leg around her neck for a week. She, right away, traded it for the next crazy thing, which became fashionable on the next week."

"And what happened to Mr.Cotton Candy?"

"I gave it back to her, although she knows I bought her a new bunny. So Mr.Cotton Candy II is actually still Mr.Cotton Candy I."

Then the waiter walked over to their table with their food. Ed was relieved to see the contents of his plate. He recognized all the ingredients.

The atmosphere was pleasant and light, which he would not have thought of tonight. There has been nothing awkward so far. The other was an excellent dinner partner. He was cultured, interested in him and this impressed Ed very much. He could easily imagine a second date as well.

"Edward?"

Ed raised his head and found that he sank into his thoughts again. He hoped Oswald didn't take it as an insult. Although the other's amused gaze did not indicate such a thing.

"Yes?"

“You stare at the food so deeply, maybe you don’t like it?"

Ed quickly began to protest. "Far from it. It's very tasty." and he said seriously that. "What is this?"

Oswald laughed.

"This is paprikás krumpli gazdagon." he answered and his pronunciation was graceful. His foreign words rolled softly, considering that the man's mother language was not English. Although his English words were eclectic and flawless.

Oswald smiled at him.

"Thank you."

He seemed to have said his thoughts out loud just now.

Ed quickly cleared his throat and tried to control his embarrassment. With more or less success.

"It's a foreign dish, isn't it? Maybe it's European?" he asked and the other nodded. "Oh, that reminds me, you knew Arkham was originally designed as an asylum, but they run out of the money for the implementation. Then a Money bag man bought the area and built this fancy restaurant from the ground up. Another typical, bored billionaire."

"You don't say?"

"Although there are similarities between the two, because it has to be crazy to be able to spend that much money here." he added and got another bite. 

Oswald grinned at his words. 

"I was that Money bag man."

A piece of potato stuck in Ed's throat, causing him to cough immediately. It took three big sips of water to be able to swallow. But he succeeded. Some people looked at him from the other tables.

_"You really know how to date, Eddie."_

Ed, in thought, kicked the inner voice in his tibia, and then himself for his mouth went before his mind. He glanced a little shyly at the man, who was smoothing the rim of his wine glass with his fingers around and around.

"But I also add that the food is insanely good." said Ed. "And the place is beautiful and the company is excellent."

For a few moments they stared at each other quietly.

"Edward, have you ever been told that your particular style is very charming?" Oswald's eyes sparkled. Maybe it was just a play of light again, but it was still very enchanting.

"No, they usually told me to shut up because they get a headache from me." remembered Ed "But I like yours much better."

Then laughter erupted from both of them.

  


  


After the main course was done, the dessert followed. 

He glanced at his plate. This time, Oswald chose the food for him and judging by the sight and smell, he made a very good decision. The name was Aranygaluska, or Golden Walnut Dumplings, and Ed had to admit it deserved the name. The vanilla custard really looked like liquid gold on the dumplings. And the taste was heavenly, too. 

After the first bite, he swallowed it as if he had been starving for years. Oswald's amused look made him even more embarrassed.

Suddenly, not long after the dessert, a jingling melody sounded. Ed watched as Oswald pulled out his phone and glanced at the display. His facial expression revealed nothing about whether the call was good or bad. 

"I apologize, Edward." he told. 

Ed nodded understandingly as Oswald got up from the table and left the room. 

_"Congratulations Eddie, you managed to chase away Mr.Hot Money Bag. It must have been his rescue call. After then, he comes back and leaves for a transparent reason. You were a pig. Luckily, you didn't eat the plate."_

Ed turned his head to the right, seeing almost the entire city and its night lights through the glass wall. Fabulous view.

But he looked annoyed instead at his faint reflection on the glass, who grinned at him cheekily. 

He showed his middle finger discreetly to him.

When Oswald reached a sufficient hearing distance where no one could disturb him, he answered the video call.

"Papa!" there was an excited cry at the far end of the line and a multitude of dark brown curls appeared on the screen.

Oswald smiled. "You're holding the phone too close to you, Martín. Where's Grandma?"

Then, a moment later, the screen changed and Gertrude appeared, and the excited Martín moved in one of her arms.

"Oh, this sweet boy. I take my eyes off him for a moment and he's already a fog." his mother sighed and kissed the boy on his temple, who laughed cheerfully.

Oswald knew exactly what his mother was talking about. Ever since Martín started walking, he hasn't stopped. He once brought fright to Oswald when he could not find him. The whole mansion was turned over for him. Luckily, Olga found the boy in the laundry basket, where he was just sleeping among the freshly washed clothes. 

"Little Martín already had dinner and a bath and we played too, but he refused to go to bed until he saw Papa." said Gertrude and Martín held out his arms to him as if he could reach Oswald over the phone.

"Papa! Papa!"

Martín's vocabulary was not yet very eclectic. He was at the beginning of his first year. But his favorite words were "Papa", "No", "Candy" and "Doggy." The latter was related to the dog Oswald bought for him.

Oswald regretted his decision the next day when the beast chewed his slippers.

Martín, from the first glance, adored the animal. It seemed mutual.

It was a good thing, because the dog was constantly roaring in the boy’s corner and the little bell on the collar and the barking indicated where they were - and also the chip, that was in the dog's left front leg.

Even now, there was the flea nest, next to them on the couch and chewed a pillow. 

"Ah, Martín, I miss you too." he said and all his words were honest. "My little pumpkin. Papa is going home soon. In the meantime, be good to Grandma."

He had a hard time leaving Martín at home, but Gertrude almost kicked him out of the mansion. She thought he needed some free time. Because he was just working and dealing with Martín all the time, which is nice and good, but he could have taken some time for himself. Oswald disagreed, he had enough of these two things in his life, he had no intention of expanding. But once his mother took something in her head, no one could change her mind. Oswald knew this very well.

He finally agreed to go out for the evening. While Martín was being taken care by his mother and Olga. And the three of them were looked after by professional and trained people who did not hesitate to act, if any danger arose while he was away.

He was not reckless when it came to his family. Nor before and after moving to the states.

Yes, they came from Europe - where Oswald was the head of one of the most largest criminal organization - but caution was never unnecessary.

He lived like a king, a little over two years ago, only power and money filled every minute of his life. He never thought he would replace this with anything else. But he was wrong. Following an offer, he handed over the control of his organization and came from his homeland in exchange for Martín, after his birth. And he never regretted that decision.

But he did not rock himself into a false belief that nothing could disturb their quiet life now, that he had left behind his old life. There will always be bad people who would be happy to harm him and those who are important to him.

Therefore, he will protect them at all costs.

"Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot!" snapped Gertrude and looked at the background behind Oswald, she recognized the office room. "You're just not in Arkham? You promised that you weren't going to work."

His mother's unapproving expression made him feel guilty most of the time but not when Martín was with her. The little boy tried to imitate his grandmother's grumpy expression, but he failed. It was funny and cute.

"I'm not working, Mother, just having dinner with ..."

"With who?" Gertrude slammed down fast. "You didn't even mention meeting someone. This is how I need to know that my only son has someone? Why didn't you tell me earlier? Why didn't you introduce her? Maybe she's not a fair woman? If she has too much makeup, she's sure to hide something. Be careful, Oswald, people like that always want something. Remember, the devil doesn't sleep."

Oswald sighed.

"He, not a she. We met today for the first time and we just have dinner."

A moment later.

"Does not matter." continued his mother. "I hope he's a real gentleman with my darling."

"Mother."

"I just want the best for you." she said. "And Martín too. Isn't that right, kis angyal?"

Martín squeaked incomprehensible words and then yawned.

Oswald chuckled.

He assured her mother that he would be home soon and then said goodbye to them.

Instead of returning to the table, to Edward, he decided.

Knowing Eward's name, it was not hard doing a little research work on the man. Within a short time, he had every detail of Edward Nygma's life so far on his phone. His age, his job, his family. Even his blood type.

Of course, Ed told him a little bit about himself during the evening, but Oswald couldn't be sure if the other hadn't lied to him from the first moment.

Oswald planned a quiet, uneventful evening. He was genuinely surprised when a stranger once sat down opposite him. His first thought was that apparently an assassin was the other, but he dismissed it pretty soon. In his thirty-five years, he had dealt with quite a few people who wanted to shoot a bullet into his head. But none of them started with a riddle.

Then, when Ed told him he knew who he was, the blood in his veins froze for a moment. He was about to signal to Gabe, who would have taken care of him, when Edward told him the most incapable thing.

Blind date.

He gestured to his bodyguard, that he had no intention of breaking the other's neck. 

When he asked him what made him believe he was the one he has a date, the surprises only increased.

He didn't deny, it was good to hear Ed's response that he found him attractive. That, he is exactly his type. Oswald was embarrassed by this, but eventually decided to go into the game.

As time went on, he was absolutely certain that Edward was not from a sin organizations who was sent to fake Oswald into false security and enter into his graces. Like a honeypot.

And looking at the informations he found out about Ed, the other was as far away from any illegal activity as he could be. 

Twenty-seven years old, with excellent school results, an educator at the Wayne University, where he has taught for years. He lives alone in a relatively good neighborhood close to his cousins. Isabella and Kristen Kringle. Divorced. Ex wife, Leslie Thompkins. 

He was not a honeypot or a hired assassin. Ed didn't even have a parking penalty, ever.

He continued his research.

Oh wait. 

There is something here.

Two years ago, at Christmas ... loud commotion ... vandalism ... a burning Christmas tree ... thrown out the window into the garden ... through the closed window. The neighbors called the police. But it turned out that only the Christmas party went wild a bit. No one was injured.

In the end, Ed vomited a cop. Someone, James Gordon. No report was made.

Oswald snorted.

Edward Nygma is a pleasant surprise. And because of something - Oswald suspected it was a mistake - they got together tonight. Of course, he could have told him about it in the beginning, but he was curious. 

Oswald's evening was enjoyable in the company of the other man. There was something special about him. He couldn't tell what it was, but it felt as if Ed's peculiar magic had stuck at him. It was both embarrassing and hopeful feeling. And dangerous.

He didn't expect that. In fact, he didn’t expect anything like that, as Oswald had long learned that if someone was kind to him, it gave him cause for suspicion. 

He never intended to let anyone into his life, especially now that Martín was here too. Any decision in Oswald’s life also affected his son’s life. That’s why he had to be twice as careful. 

He didn't want a partner, he was good that way.

And yet ... 

He hung up his phone and walked back to the table.

"Buh!"

Ed shuddered and looked back grimly. Kristen grinned at him.

"How many more times are you going to sneak behind my back tonight?"

She rolled her eyes at this. 

"Come on, Ed, I don't have much time." she replied, pointing to the tray in her hand, which had many glasses full of colored liquids. "I should bring this to the guests right now."

"Then why are you here."

"Because, I wanted to know how you were doing with your blind date. How is the guy? A snob bastard? Or a tolerable withered salad?"

Ed thought for a moment, then answered. "He ... is not what I expected."

Kristen looked down at him in surprise. She knew Ed was expecting the worst of tonight. Therefore, the man's response shocked her.

"Really? I mean, ... that's good. I’m glad, I was afraid you’re going to pretend you have food poisoning so you can disappear as soon as possible."

Ed smiled faintly at this. That was his plan B.

"And where is he? I wanted to take a look at him."

"He had to go out for a phone call."

"Pity." said the girl " But if everything is really okay, I won't bother you anymore, I'd better go anyway, I just saw the big boss, don’t want him to fire me because I’m ten minutes late with this order."

"You can waive the tip."

"Only a team of singles, who only get drunk a little later." she shrugged " Oh, before I forget, there seems to have been a bit of confusion down there about the bookings. In short, your ex-wife and her boytoy are still forced to wait at least half an hour at their table. How terrible? I wonder how that could have happened?"

Ed heard a loud laugh. Then he realized it was his own while Kristen left.


	3. Chapter 3

Ed smiled faintly as Oswald returned and took a seat.

"I apologize again." he replied, then reached for his glass. "It was my son."

Oh.

Martín Cobblepot.

If it was difficult for the media to find out anything about Oswald, it was impossible to find out anything about the Cobblepot seedling. The boy was guarded in such a way that only one picture of him had been taken so far, which was approved by Oswald. 

Oswald seemed to protect his son with his teeth and nails. Successfully.

Ed had to admit Oswald was very careful not to make any detail of his private life in the public. The news was only about his work. For example, the latest was that he had invested a remarkable fortune in a hospital creation. Another Cobblepot donation.

"Is everything all right? If something happened, of course I understand if you have to go." Ed began, but Oswald shook his head.

"Everything is alright." he answered, then continued with a half-smile. "Maybe the only problem is that, the little flea nest what I bought for Martín, is tearing apart a cushion, right now."

Edward laughed. Not for the first time tonight. It didn't seem hard to feel good in Oswald's presence. And that surprised him somewhat, as he was usually irritated by the company of other people. 

That was very not the case now.

And he dared to risk that Oswald was having a good time, too. 

"Do you have a pet?"

"Eh, no." Ed said. "Except for the spiders on the ceiling. Every time I clean, they keep showing up immediately afterwards. You should see it, as if they have nestled themselves in my home for a lifetime."

Oswald smiled slowly and reached for him and took his hand, which rested on the table. His thumb smoothed all the way to the inside of his palm. It felt like a tiny spark. And he didn't take his eyes off him. 

"Was that an invitation?"

Ed's breath caught in his throat.

Then, Oswald began to lean closer to him.

_"Smart, interesting, rich, funny and attractive. He is full of love, considering how much he loves his son."_

As Oswald leaned over the table, Ed too, involuntarily, leaned closer to him.

 _"Do you think Mr.Hot Money Bag could be more perfect than that? He is like a jackpot, Eddie."_ the inner voice chuckled. 

"Oh, yes." Edward sighed. It was one of the rare occasions when he managed to agree with himself. "He's almost perfect."

"What?" 

Oops, he said it out loud again. 

"Um ... I mean ... yeah, maybe ... maybe it's time to go then ... it is quite late" as soon as he finished the sentence he instantly regretted it. 

One of Oswald's eyebrows raised, then pulled his hand away and gestured to the waiter, who quickly appeared. Before Ed could argue about the bill or anything, the waiter had already left.

And the mood soured afterwards.

  


He felt a little dazed. 

_"Obviously, you just shot your chance at Oswald."_

Ed knew the voice spoke seriously, because he called the black-haired man by his first name, who was at the checking room just now.

Oswald was still polite to him, though Edward felt like he was a little distant with him.

_"And whose fault is it!"_

"I know."

_"He made physical contact with you. And what did you do? You rejected him."_

"I know."

_"He wanted to kiss you!"_

"I know."

_"What did you think?"_

"I do not know."

Ed silently looked at the other man who was just standing with his back to him. He wanted to tell him a thousand things at once, but he was afraid it might only make things worse. 

He wanted to tell Oswald that he liked his initiative. It was unexpected, but welcomed. He also thought it was a little fast. Since his divorce, he has never exposed himself to such a catastrophe as dating. In fact, the only person he had ever dated was Lee, so he had little experience in this field. He told himself, it would be enough for him if he stayed in his snail house. But Oswald achieved during the evening, that he wanted to leave the snail house, which provided security.

It confused and terrified him. Because what if it doesn’t matter how it starts, in the end it’s going to break his heart. 

Again. 

Then he can pick the pieces and he can scold himself for how irresponsible and light-hearted he was.

"Ed?" a female voice sounded. "It's that you?"

"What!" he snapped and looked around and found out that if things were bad, then it will get worse. As now.

It was Leslie who addressed him.

Of course.

"Lee." he began, but he had no idea what to tell her. 

Something simple will do.

"Hi." 

"Hi." she smiled at him and Ed tried to smile back. 

But instead, he managed to make a grimace out of himself. Luckily, she didn't notice.

"We met a long time ago." Lee began, then measured him from head to toe. "You look good."

_"Tell her, it's because of the divorce."_

"Thanks." he replied rather. "You too." then the superficial chat continued. "I see you've grown your hair. It's nice."

Leslie touched one of her strands. "Oh, thank you. It's just like a haystack in the morning, Jim says ..." then she suddenly stopped.

What can you say if your ex is just talking about the guy she cheated on you? With whom they seem to have been together ever since.

Absolute nothing.

The awkward silence remained.

But it also only intensified when next to Lee stepped none other than Jim Gordon. He stood remarkably close to her and put his arms around her hips from behind, as if to signal to him that they were a couple. 

Ed quickly rolled his eyes at such cave man behavior.

_"Jimbo! Hell with you."_

Lee cleared her throat. "James, this is Edward Nygma. Edward, this is James Gordon."

_"The bastard who desecrated the kitchen table."_

Gordon nodded a little in greeting. Ed gave him a flat look.

"We just came to dinner, but we've been waiting for an eternity. Who would have thought there would be such a circus here?" Lee sighed. Ed appreciated somewhere that the woman was trying to maintain the civilized level, but after four years, it was too little and too late for him.

"Well, it's Valentine's Day. It would be expected that everything would be full."

"True, true. And you? I saw Kristen working here. Did you come to visit her?" she asked him, as if she couldn't imagine that Ed might have been on a date on Valentine's Day in an upscale restaurant. "How kind of you to spend your Valentine's evening this way, if you have no better thing to do. So sweet." then she leaned to Gordon's side.

A moment later, Ed discovered that he was gritting his teeth - he tried to get rid of this habit. He had completely forgotten how annoying was his dear ex wife, who had packed her prickles in good faith.

"No. "he spat the word." I'm actually here for a date." he said and saw a slight surprise on both of their faces.

"Really? Who's lucky one? Where did you meet her?" 

Before Ed could correct her, Oswald suddenly showed up and snuggled to his side. He grabed his tie playfully. The feathers on the collar of his coat tickled Ed's neck.

"I'm the lucky one." he said with a wicked smile. "Beacuse I can spend the evening with Edward." his other hand, which rested on Ed's waist - perhaps the caveman behavior is not so bad after all - slowly slid onto his back, smoothed along Ed's spine. From the bottom to top. Then from top to bottom. "Oswald Cobblepot."

Oh my God! 

If the man's previous touch on his hand fascinated him, he felt like he was completely electrified. He pursed his lips so he wouldn't sigh, but Ed couldn't stop his involuntary trembling.

"Oh Ed, are you cold? Here, put your coat." Oswald purred and gestured to the bodyguard behind him, who handed him Ed's coat. Then Oswald helped him put on. After that, he turned to the other two - who were still staring at them silently. "It was a pleasure to meet, but we have to go now. We can't spend the most beautiful day of the year in a lobby, right? That would be so depressing. Come, honey." he took Ed's hand and they took definite steps towards the main entrance.

_"Look back, look back! Let's see their face, Eddie!"_

Ed didn't want to, but he was just a human too, so as he opened the door for Oswald, he looked out of the corner of his eye at Lee and Gordon. He was sure he would remember their startled expression for a long time.

  
  
As they stepped out of the Arkham, hand in hand, he was still under the influence of events inside.  
  
It felt good what happened, petty, but very good.

But it already felt less good when Oswald let go of his hand to wave his bodyguard, who then went for the limousine.

They were left alone.

_"Eddie, this is your last chance to say anything to him. Something like that: you had a good time with him and want an another date."_

Ed cleared his throat and stepped closer to Oswald, who looked beautiful even in the simple street light.

_"Concentrate!"_

"Oswald ..."

"Look, Edward, before you say anything, I want to apologize for the former interlude." the man cut into his word and gripped the handle of his umbrella harder with his fingers, what was hidden in leather gloves. "At dinner, you understandably let me know that you don't want a relationship, and I respect that. What just now happened doesn't affect the situation, I promise. My only excuse is just, I noticed how tense the mood was in the lobby and I wanted to help ..."

Ed laughed.

"Oswald, you were wonderful. Seriously. Did you see their faces? It was the second best moment of the evening." he said and Oswald laughed at that. "Their chin dropped in shock."

"Really? And if I may ask, what was the best moment of the evening?" and his expression became much more open.

Ed cleared his throat and tried to continue boldly once he had started.

"You. Every time you smiled." he would have sworn that Oswald's blush was due to his words, not because of the cold in February.

"Like I said before, your particular style is charming." he took Ed's right hand. "Edward, I have to admit something. Tonight was unexpected and great and I could owe that to your company. And it shouldn't have happened that way at all."

Ed raised an eyebrow. The last sentence was a little strange.

"Isn't that the essence of a blind date? It is not possible to know in advance how things will happen. And I admit, in the beginning I didn't have too much hope for the whole thing when Isabella came up with it, but I was wrong. You're great, Oswald, and I ... I want to meet you again."

Here you go, he said it.

_"Finally."_

"Of course, if you want too."

Oswald didn't answer anything, instead raised Ed's hand to his lips and then breathed a soft kiss. It only lasted a few moments, but for Ed it seemed like the time had stopped. He caught his breath and couldn't take his eyes off Oswald. His lips were soft. His long, black lashes cast a shadow on his face. His nose gently touched his skin. He admitted, there was something aristocratic about the man's features. And his black hair looked so featherly that he would have preferred to bury his fingers into.

When Oswald pulled away but didn't let go of his hand, he flashed a sincere smile that made Ed's pulse jump even more.

"I really want it."

"Okay." breathed Ed.

Unfortunately, the moment was over when Oswald's car arrived. The driver quickly got out and opened the door for him. 

Reluctantly, Oswald let go of his hand and before getting into the limousine, took a tiny card from his pocket, what he gave him. It has Oswald's name and a phone number on it.

"My private number. Call me." he told him and and got into the car. "Night, Edward."

Ed said goodbye too, but he might have just made a dying sound and watched the receding car until it disappeared at the end of the street.

He carefully put the card in his pocket.

_Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna think any more, I left my head and heart on the dance floor,_

Ed shuddered at the unexpected song. Fortunately, he had just parked in front of his home.

_Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna talk anymore, I got my head and my heart on the dance floor,_  
_Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, Stop telephonin' me, Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, ..._

Annoyed, he picked up his phone, and when he saw the caller's name, he already knew that Isabella must have grabbed his phone, when he was not watching and switched the ringtones, again. Obviously, when Ed was just getting dressed for the date.

"Lady Gaga? Really?" said Ed instead of saying hello as soon as he got out of the car. "I asked you don't mess with my phone." 

"It is funny, a telephone ringtone is about the telephone and you love music."

"But not when I have a class and the ringtone is played at full volume, due to a wrong call." he cut at her and headed for the front door.

"I'm just calling you because I wanted to know, how your evening was." her voice sounded strange. Ed rarely heard that, but immediately realized that she sounded guilty. "Just now, the guy called and said he couldn't show up on the date because he broke his leg on some stairs. I didn't understand much about it, the hospital painkiller had already hit him very hard."

What?

Ed stopped.

"I'm so sorry, Ed. I swear I'll make up for you." she promised but he didn't pay attention.

Ed was confused, not knowing what to say. It seemed tonight could still hold a surprise for him. 

Yet, how could this have happened? If it wasn’t Oswald Cobblepot his dating partner, then how did things turn out that way? He thought through the details of the evening. 

And even more so, why didn't Oswald said anything? He obviously knew a mistake had been made. And still. 

He must have thought Ed was an idiot or ... he must have felt sorry for him. It must have been an unpleasant evening for him, but it didn’t seem like Oswald was the kind of person who wouldn’t tell if he didn’t like something. He could have sent Ed from his table at any moment, but instead ...

The man had been a perfect gentleman with him all night. And before they parted, he made sure that yes, he wanted to meet him again.

He took the card out of his pocket.

_"The question is, do you regret how things turned out that way or would you be happy to date him again? This time for real."_

Meanwhile, Isabella continued to speak.

" ... don't worry, I know another guy who doesn't have a two left feet, his name is Lucius Fox and ..."

"You don't have to, Isabella."

"Don't say that. It doesn't have to discourage you, Ed."

He glanced down at the card, that had a name, a phone number - then turned the card over - and an umbrella logo on the back. 

Ed waited while the girl took a breath between two sentences and said ...

"No, I mean, I met someone." he smiled faintly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few words:   
> The fur of Oswald’s coat was purple but I couldn’t give up on that reddish color because it’s also a favorite, and anyway, all colors are fine for Oswald.


End file.
